I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
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