***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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