Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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