My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize