So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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