the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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