im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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