I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
he puts the penis in happiness.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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