So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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