my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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