And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
