in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
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i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
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You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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