sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
