Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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