I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
