it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
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