that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
