do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
