Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
