How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
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He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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