rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
