im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
