i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
