Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
