Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Bang-toberfest begins!!
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
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