u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
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