NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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