oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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