Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Floor bacon is actually really good
This toilet bowl is my home.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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