There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize
