I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
