D3 body, D1 cock
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
