Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
