Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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