So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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