I'm really into asian looking animals
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
