Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
we're chasing vodka with high fives
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
