I love black thongs
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
