Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Randomize
