So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
