Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
