Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
