My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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