hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
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I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
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When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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