I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
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He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
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Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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