At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
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