'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
pray to the hookup gods
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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