I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
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