i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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