I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
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At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
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who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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