I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
