found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
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