I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
