Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Randomize
