he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize