If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Randomize
