If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
