cat food counts as protein by the way
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
